August 11, 2010
Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada (Shambolic International) August 11, 2010 — The King and Queen of Shambhala, the hereditary sovereigns of the legendary Himalayan kingdom, are expecting the birth of their first child in August in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. How does one become a ruler of a legendary Kingdom? For that we turn to Dr David Whitehorn of Abbie Lane Psychiatric hospital. We asked Dr Whitehorn how common these types of delusions are. “It is actually quite common for certain types of patients to exhibit these types of syndromes, what is unusual about this case is that the delusional state of mind seems to be shared by so many others. Not only local buddhist, but many Haligonians, and most surprisingly the press seem to be excepting the notion that these individuals and their unborn child are royalty of a legendary kingdom. This is extraordinary and certainly needs further study.
As reported in the Halifax Chronicle Herald, Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche and his queen, the Sakyong Wangmo Khandro Tseyang, are holders of the Shambolic Buddhist lineage whose forefather was the Tibetan king, Gesar of Ling, hero of the epic story told in song and dance throughout Asia. Although Shambolic Buddhism has actually been invented over the past decade by the King himself, everyone likes to pretend that it’s really really old. So we just humor them and don’t say very much.
“After careful consideration the family has chosen the Birth Unit of the IWK Heath Centre, as the site for the birth of their first child,” said Dr Mitchell Levy, the royal couple’s personal spin doctor. Dr Levy went on to say, “The health centre’s outstanding reputation for excellence in quality of care and patient safety, and the fact that is actually the only birthing centre in Halifax, makes the King and Queen feel this is the best environment for this happy event.”
Two thousand people attended the couple’s royal wedding in Halifax in 2006. The festival, known as the Blossoming of the Sun, featured a traditional smoke blessing ceremony, known as a Lhasang, at the city’s historic citadel. The greater Halifax community, which has been generally very receptive and welcoming to local Buddhists over the past 25 years, is now beginning to wonder what was actually in that smoking.
In other news, a very large star has appeared in the Eastern sky over Halifax during the past week. In a recent statement, Dr. W. T. Uck of Dalhousie’s School of Astronomy said, “The previously unknown star appears to be hovering above the IWK. As a scientist, I have no explanation for this.”
Also, local optometrists report a sudden increase in eye-rollitis, especially among journalists. “It’s gotten so bad that every time I type the words “baby” or “royal” or “king”, my eyes start rolling and I can’t get them under control,” said a Chronicle Herald reporter yesterday.
Following a series of royal pre-birth announcements last week, no one in the local Shambolic community, has been available for comment. When stopped outside her home by a Chronicle Herald reporter, well-known Shambolic community member Cathy Jones said, “Buddhists? What Buddhists? I am just a simple Catholic girl from the rock, and I’m just foolin‘ around.”
For inquiries, please contact Lady How-the-F***-Did-I-Get-Here Shong in the Office of the Shambolic Buddhism Spin:
helpme [at] earthling.ca Tel: (666) 666-help